Damn You Star 102.5. Damn You!
Mele Kalikimaka is the thing to say
On a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day.
That's the island greeting that we send to you
from the land where palm trees sway.
- Mele Kalikimaka, as sung by Bing Crosby, or Don Ho, or Jimmy Buffett, or the tormenting little gremlin in my head at 3 a.m. Take your pick.
It all started on November 1st, 2011. I am referring, of course, to the launch of "Continuous Christmas music" on Star 102.5, your friendly station from across the puddle in Buffalo, New York. I was in the car, surfing radio stations, when I made the grave error of landing on 102.5 FM. With the kids in the backseat. No putting the toothpaste back in the tube on that one. Every day since then (when did Christmas morph into an 8-week affair, I ask you?) I am forced to listen to Madonna's DNA-unraveling attempt at "Santa Baby", the thankfully-only-occasional "Last Christmas" (WHAM. Oh George - why didn't you answer any of my fan mail in high school?) and the radiator-rattling Mannheim Steamroller. And then it happened, really, I'm not sure how, but it just did: Mele Kalikimaka was stuck in my head. Didn't matter if I was working, vacuuming, driving, cooking... that piece of tropical treacle was doing laps in my head and there was no off-ramp in sight.
James Kellaris, associate professor of marketing at the University of Cincinnati refers to this phenomena as 'getting bitten by an earworm'. As detailed in an article in the December issue of Mental Floss magazine, "certain pieces of music may have properties that excite an abnormal reaction in the brain - a cognitive itch". We rehearse the tune in our heads in order to scratch said itch, but the outcome is a form of perseveration hell - you have, in fact, exacerbated the itch so that the rehearsal becomes involuntary and you are trapped, like me, on a bright Hawaiian Christmas Day. According to Kellaris, songs that are simple, repetitive or have some aspect of incongruity in them are most likely to get stuck.
Fear not, my friend. For every problem, there is a solution. Kellaris states that the best cure for an earworm is to unleash an 'eraser tune'. He theorizes that the eraser tune devours the earworm by 'combining the benefits of both distraction and replacement.' Prudence dictates that the eraser tune of choice is itself not too sticky.
Whoomp... ...there it is.
Jennifer Hartman, guest blogger
